The next phase of my journey is taking me back to San Diego.
A place where I left my heart, the place where I learned what salvation is, the
place where I learned to spend time alone in His presence and praise Him. A
place I loved and have longed to return to since I left there in 1989.
My reason for returning home to Georgia has now transitioned
to her heavenly home. With that I should feel freedom to come and go as I
please. Do I feel that freedom…yes I do, and only because I have freedom in the
knowledge of Christ. Whom God has set free is free indeed. Do I like the
freedom I should feel…not especially. My mother’s transition hurt far more than
I ever thought it would. In times past, I would say to the Lord, “when I’ve
finished with what I need to do here please send me back to California”. It
took 28 years to finish what I needed to do; however, it is finished, and not
how I expected it to—I have learned some things about the unexpected.
In my wait to return to San Diego I encountered some life
experiences that took me abroad with some successes and some failures. The
failures, unfortunately, had more of an impact than the successes. One failure in
particular paralyzed me and almost destroyed my spirit. But God being the
loving Father he is kept me, never left me, and breathed revived life into my
valley of dry bones so I rise from the ashes to thrive again.
I titled this piece “relaunching”, inspired by a Dale
Bronner message of the same title, because I feel that is what’s happening in my
return to my beloved San Diego. I had stopped doing the things God called me to
do. I stepped out of the boat, failed, then stepped back into the boat to
hide—now I’m stepping out again. With power packed knowledge from my failures
and successes—I am relaunching. The timing of my return to San Diego was not
next in line in my travels. Nevertheless,
because I have given God a blank page I go now. Will it once again become the
place it was for me in times past—I don’t know. At the beginning of my journey
I was excited to go back thinking it would be the last leg of my journey and the place I would settle in once
again as my home. Standing at the window of my former home looking out one day praying about
my journey my excitement was mounting; my thoughts went to San Diego and I smiled...God said to me, be careful, you may not
have the same heart toward it as you did before…it’s not the same place you
left, and neither are you.
What will my heart be like when I visit familiar places
there…I can only speculate with guided expectation. I seek Him—His will is my
will.
Be blessed my friends… Please pray for me as I depart on August
30, 2017.
