https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsj-C2f6zxg
This song became the
anthem of my heart this morning. It epitomizes my thoughts and feelings
right now.
(I do not own the rights to this song but pay homage to the Artist: Eric Lige)
Nov 19, 2024
at 8:59AM
I am spirit
I am light
Ready to stand
And battle this fight
I am bold
I am strong
Thankful the word of God
Never leaves me alone
Nov 17, 2024 at 4:08AM
Why so downcast oh my soul
Look up and let the good times
roll
When I catch this thing pulling me
down
I don’t just sit around
I allow the melodies from
heaven
To lift me up
Flow in and fill my serenity cup
Saturate me with God’s graceful
love
Enclosing me like a comforting
glove
Peace flowing in—on the wings of a
dove
The best feeling you could ever
speak of
Thank You Lord for creating music!
Nov 18, 2024 at 9:04AM
For such a time as this
It is what it is but it’s not what
it seems
While I wait for this to be over
I’m going to keep dreaming my
dreams
They keep my feelings off the
floor
And usher me through God’s open
door
Can’t wait to see what’s waiting
for me
Nov 18, 2024 at 3:22PM
I see Him
Astonishing how I can go through the day like a normal
regular day. As regular and normal as multitasking and forgetting some of the
tasks (like forgetting I’m doing laundry), and even forgetting the c-word has
entered my life; and it seems like everything is kosher.
Then I settle down, and I’m assaulted with an emotional
memory that tries to pull me down. That’s when I take a deep breath, let it out
and tell myself through the nervousness in my stomach you have a battle to
fight and only the strong survive. Not strength in myself but strength in Phil.
4:13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…and I make it
through the moment.
That’s what happens in this wait mode.
Vanessa, remember they that wait upon the Lord shall renew
their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and
not get weary, they will walk and not faint.
I can do this…
(I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…)
Nov 15, 2024 at 9:18PM
In the REM hours of sleep I am walking towards the top of
some stairs where there is a toddler sized child at the bottom of the stairs
struggling on the ground that had been severely beaten. A lady picked him up to
help him and was told to put him down, she did. As I approached, I was
horrified to see no one helping the baby. They were smiling as they
watched him struggle. I couldn’t take it anymore and was going to go pick him
up. Then I noticed the lady standing beside me, it was Shanice, at this point
it was just me and her. She didn’t look at me but kept watching the baby with a
serene smile on her face, she lightly touched my arm and said no don’t pick him up. I
couldn’t understand why but I didn’t go down the stairs and pick him up. As we
stood there watching I imagined myself picking him up hugging him and taking
him to the hospital, where he eventually died. Shanice and I were still
standing there looking down at the struggling child…and I began to smile; then
I woke up…
As I was opening my eyes, I could still see the struggling
baby; becoming more awake I was wondering why I couldn’t help him, and why were
we smiling at such a horrific sight.
The answer came: that baby was cancer coming in the form of a child, a deception of the enemy so you would pick it up, love it and care for it. It was beaten up by the many men and women who have been in battle with it. If you had picked it up, embraced it, and helped it, you would become one of the many that didn’t bravely survive it. Because you didn’t embrace it…you will stand with the brave survivors.
Now fully awake…I sit up and go WOW!! THANK YOU LORD!! 🙌🏽
Nov 15, 2024 at 10:31AM
Nov 15, 2024 at 12:21PM
I’ve been in wait mode
Waiting for the results
Waiting for the PCP
consultation
Waiting for the call from the
oncologist (that finally came today)
It’s getting close
When it was far away
At times it didn’t feel real
I could sometimes forget about it in the moments when I
wasn’t thinking about it
Now that I have an appointment with an oncologist the day
before Thanksgiving
Real is sinking in
What am I getting into…what am I waiting for
Nov 14, 2024 at 7:05PM
Your heart is like a vacant room when familiar voices are
silent
…Even strength feels alone
Nov 11, 2024 at 8:06AM
Then God brings along a voice you really needed to hear—one
that fills your heart with hope and love
…and won’t disappear
Nov 11, 2024 at 11:10AM
A song lyric asks where is your place of peace…my place of
peace is in the healing hands of Jesus
Nov 13, 2024 at 10:40AM
His grace surrounds me like the warmth of a lavender bubble
bath mixed with soothing chamomile. The relaxing effects last for a long
while
Nov 13, 2024 at 1:31PM
I often say I have mastered the art of relaxation… and I
have; now here comes a hiccup. I will not allow it to become a trip up. It will
not wreck my flow because I know where to go
Nov 13, 2024 at 2:03PM
I have my place of peace where the voices of the enemy must
cease
Nov 13, 2024 at 2:19PM
As I’m trying to read, floaters are drifting all over the
page bringing to realization that the problems with my eyes have taken a back
seat to the big Goliath in my breast. They are both poised to wreak my peace. I
say to both…your lifespans in my life have a short lease.
Nov 13, 2024 at 2:23PM
Being an avid music lover, I am thrilled to discover a new
artist with a dynamic voice that stands out from the rest; and mystified when I
realize they are not new…they just didn’t cross my radar.
During the days of Star Search I remember watching a little
girl with a big voice singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow and rooting for
her to win (which she did); didn’t recall her name and like most of us little
kids with big voices slip into the background of our listening experiences.
Mainly because what type of music would appeal to adults from a little kid with
a big voice. I am also a lover of ice skating, so when Disney on Ice graced my screen
back in the day, I was transfixed. In the Wizard of Oz segment there was a young
woman singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow with the most dynamic vocals a
music lover’s ears want to hear. I didn’t know who she was but was enthralled with her rendition of the song. Had the internet been then what it is today, I would
have googled her and found out who she was.
Fast forward to today I am watching an Unsung segment featuring
the husband of one of my favorite gospel singers. He is a Grammy award winning
producer and started producing music at a young age. They showcased several
artists he produced; one was a young lady with vocals that matched Whitney Houston
and dance moves on par with Janet Jackson. When they showed her interview
talking about working with him, I didn’t recognize her, she was much older in
the interview than she was in the video. I did take note of her name, Shanice.
Now that google is around, I could find out who this dynamic singer was(is). To
my surprise she turned out to be the little girl from Star Search and the young
woman from Disney on Ice. I was floored and wondered why she didn’t cross my
radar in the 90s when she was at the height of her career. Assessing my musical
life during that time I was totally into music that fed my deep desire to grow
closer to God. Unfortunately, Shanice was not singing in that genre; and
because the music industry is fickle and cutthroat, she received a raw deal and
did not gain the same notoriety as Whitney and Janet, resulting in a dynamic vocalist
fading into obscurity (creating a loss for music listeners in my opinion).
As I learned more about her, I discovered she was married to
an actor whose tv show I watched every week, and that was her singing the theme
song to his show called One on One. The two of them had their ups and
downs in the industry and created a reality show called Flex and Shanice to
tell their story of how they survived the storm together giving God the glory.
They have a fascinating love story and marriage.
Why is Shanice significant to me? When you watch videos on YouTube, they track what you watch, and you get similar vids in your feed. On the day I received a cancer diagnosis a video of Shanice pops up…not the usual music related content I normally get but an interview of her appearing on Good Morning America the day before I saw this one; she was there not to sing but to share her survival with breast cancer surgery in May and June of this year. When she revealed the type of cancer she had I realized I did not know what type I was diagnosed with. I read the report I received from the imaging center, and it was the same type she had. Unfortunately, I share her skirmish with mammograms and her reason for not getting regular checkups. Hearing her story of mammogram struggles and survival with the same type of cancer I am going to survive, and on the same day I receive the news, with an admonition that it is not a death sentence gave me my first ray of hope.
How many of you know discovering her and that video popping up in my
feed was not a coincidence…
Nov 11, 2024 at 4:24PM
For once in my life I feel like my faith is bigger than a
mustard seed
So why do I feel like I want to cry
The river is raging
But the flood gates won’t open
The tears are there but they won’t flow
I wonder why…
If I cry
Will I have a soft place to fall
Will I recover if I cry all alone
I want to stay strong and appear that way
I believe I’m going to live and not die
So why would I cry
I walk in strengthen faith every day
Seek God’s face and constantly pray
Lord help me to keep my smile
Remembering I’m Your anointed child
For You I carry my lamp filled with oil
While I travel through this cancerous toil
I have no fear—it’s defeated by faith
Court is in session and I’m winning my case
I know I’m not alone as I run this race
While tears clean the windows of your soul
It’s praise that keeps me brave—and bold
So crying…stay in your rightful place
Nov 10, 2024 at 10:40AM
I finally cried… they were tears of relief when I knew that
I would not have to brave it alone.
Especially after finding out I skipped over the invasive
part of the diagnosis. God sheltered me from the hardest part in the beginning
of the storm so I could muster up faith bigger than a mustard seed.
Nov 11, 2024 at 10:33AM
With interlocked fingers I place them on my chest rebuking the cancer invading my breast letting it know you are treading on protected territory
I am a warrior living out God’s great story!
Nov 11, 2024 at 11:02AM l
Standing in the window carrying something no one wants to
hold
While holding onto the greatest story ever told
Nov 11, 2024 at 12:09PM
With folded hands I fast and pray
Thanking you Lord You have taken it away
Nov 11, 2024 at 12:20PM
I walk
I dance
I recall Your story
My heart sings
As I give You the glory
Nov 11, 2024 at 12:27PM
It is no coincidence
I read this today…
 |
I equate Goliath to
this cancer they say I have. Like David I am preparing for the battle by
trusting God.
Nov 6, 2024 at
12:15PM
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My devotion the other day was about David’s battle with Goliath. No one thought he could defeat the giant. David had prepared his whole life for this moment by slaying lions and bears (which are big battles); probably not knowing he was preparing for an even bigger battle.
Physically he’d faced tough enemies and triumphed. Spiritually…David had prepared for Goliath by trusting God to protect him in every tough fight. Thus, he knew what neither Saul nor Goliath understood: Those who trust God always win.
Defeated not by telling faith and preparation to be
seated
As a shepherd boy David prepared for his battle
Faith and preparation kept him in the saddle
At the end of the day it was Goliath that was rattled
He misjudged his small adversarial foe
And quickly lost his battle from head to toe
A shot to the head sent him to the ground
With a fall that made a deafening sound
The power of David wasn’t in the rock shot from his
sling
It was in preparing for the power trusting in God will
bring
As I seek to defeat this cancerous foe
I carry trust and preparation faithfully in tow
