The Good Ol' Days

Television viewing in recent years has become a boring venture. I grew weary of watching illicit sex, crime, violence and the eerie supernatural long ago. Now reality shows are infiltrating the tubes in droves and getting out of hand. Occasionally, a station will replay a movie I like but I get frustrated with the annoying commercial interruptions.

Thank Goodness for the VCR and the DVD, when I need good clean entertainment my collection never fails to deliver. Doris Day was one of my favorite actresses in the 60s. You could always count on her for a good laugh and a heartwarming cry. I have 36 of the 38 movies she made so I am never at a loss for a good nostalgic flick.

Funny how watching a movie from back in the day can bring back so many memories, make you laugh out loud, even more so make you sentimental and melancholy when a scene reminds you of a similar life experience. Calamity Jane, starring Doris Day and Howard Keel, did that for me today; a rip-roaring, (not meant to be) romantic, western comedy.

Before I get into the melancholy I have to point out “the walk”. I mentioned Denzel Washington’s walk in my last post…hey y’all, before Denzel there was Howard Keel, when he walks into the saloon to gaze at Katie Brown’s portrait… oo-lah lah! Denzel must have taken lessons from him. I’ll say it again…oo-lah lah, no, oo oo lah LAH!

My Secret Love
The tender beauty in the movie was Doris (Calamity Jane) and Howard (Wild Bill Hickock) realizing they were not just best friends but actually, albeit secretly, loved each other. The strange beauty lie in the fact that it was also a secret to them until a jealous triangle brought it to light. Doris very eloquently shouted it from the mountaintops in the beautiful song My Secret Love.

I was reminded of a conversation I had with a friend that couldn’t understand how you can not know you love someone. My response was…you can’t, unless you experience it—like I did.

He was my best friend, we had fun together. I could tell him anything. We looked forward to seeing each other in church and hanging out afterwards. We took long drives together enjoying music. Sat on beach cliffs watching the sunset and cuddled watching cheesy movies that made you laugh and made you cry. He didn’t have “the walk” but he had everything else. He was everything I dreamed of. I didn’t realize how much he meant to me until our longest drive up the coast of California from San Diego to San Francisco. I began to feel more than friendship the night I introduced him to Maid to Order and he introduced me to Dirty Dancing. He sealed the deal the night he pulled out a saxophone and squeaked through Joy to the World. I was now smitten.

My Dilemma
How do we move from friendship to "loveship"? Would our transition be as smooth as Calamity Jane and Wild Bill’s? It’s funny, now that my heart was floating in a sea of love he had somehow developed “the Denzel/Howard walk” and I loved watching him walk away. With every departure I couldn’t wait for the day we would have a heart to heart talk about our developing relationship. That time would come the night I was packing to return to my home state. He came over to tell me how much he was going to miss his buddy. I took this as a great opportunity to share with him my developing feelings. To my dismay and heartbroken disbelief we did not have a Calamity Jane/Wild Bill Hickock transition. It was in this moment of truth I learned that for him, it would forever remain platonic.

How did I overcome? Well…it wasn’t easy, but I did, and I did it without hating him. How could I, he never promised me anything or crossed any lines, I did. I crossed when I wanted more than friendship. He was very gracious in the handling of my feelings, which made me love him even more. My Secret Love forever remained my secret—until now.

A movie from the good ol’ days led to remembering a good ol’ friend.