Christmas...

Sometimes when I think about it

I start to feel sad

Then I remember

"Christmas is Jesus"

That thought makes my heart smile

Then I start to feel glad

Confessions of A Believer

I believe that Jesus is the Son of God

I believe the Father the Son and the Holy Spirit are one

I believe the inerrant word of God is true

I believe your errant lifestyle choices will one day haunt you

I believe the sin in this world is at war with God

I believe your sin makes you an enemy of God

I believe God does not hold people guilty of their sins

I believe God makes peace between Him and the world through Christ

I believe God makes His enemies His friends

I believe as His friends we should stand firm in what is morally right

Rather than accepting what is politically correct

I believe we should once again exalt God as the one and only God of our nation

Why...

Because I believe a double-minded man will falter

On the day he stands before God at the altar

I believe the day will come when you must account…

For what you believe—or don’t believe

A Moment That Stays

I remember the moment

When I knew the life went out of you

Still warm to my touch

Your body collapsed in my arms

Your eyes glazed

Into staring glass

Your breath shallow

Your voice no longer yours

White coats

And rushing feet

Turned our moments into 

Sounds that beep

One minute

Two minutes

Twelve hours

Holding your hand

Singing you songs

Watching your chest

Slowly rise then fall

Grasping empty hope

Pleading--stay with me

Feeling your surrendering salutation

When your heart said__silent night

The beeps cease

And life turns out the light

You're gone

The moment lingers on...

Feeling

I’m feeling arms I don’t see

I’m feeling a force embracing me

I’m feeling warmth I can’t explain

I’m feeling sensations stimulating my brain

I, am feeling love

October...again

Yesterday marked the third year of my mom’s new home in heaven. I approached the day with trepidation but made it through with grace. 

This morning however, not so much. The thought of her not being here struck my heart with stinging pain that brought tears to my eyes. It still hurts, that hurt brought back memories of losing my dad and standing in court telling the judge how I felt about the man that took his life. I wonder how my heart will feel on October 24^th, the day heaven became his home. 

This I do know—the pain decreases but it doesn’t go away.


Lord, this day started with praising You in songs, then drifted into thoughts of losing my parents. I’m still in the beginning stages of my day and I place the remainder of it in Your hands to bring forth Your will for how it ends. May I walk into it with joy.


~Vanessa~

The Preacher's Voice

Talking to a friend the other day I was reminded of a childhood memory and how the preacher has two voices. (confession time)


There’s this distinct voice mode *southern Baptist preachers go into at a certain point in their message (or sermon) … as a child when he hit the genesis of that sound he was heading into the highway of preaching, which meant it was my time to travel the roadway of mental imagery and enter into daydream mode. I always made sure I had a hand-fan with beautiful scenery conducive to allowing my imagination to soar. Staring into the scene on that fan my world would transform. The visions of my mind’s eye took me to variant places, adventures and experiences I hoped to one day fulfill.


I lived for the moment when that sound came; it meant my body would still be in church, but my mind was teleported into a conscious state of excitement traveling the world over; being the character in my latest book or creating one I wanted to be. Now as an adult when I hear that sound I tend to zone out, no longer daydreaming but wondering—what is the purpose for that sound. It would excite the church people into all kinds of amen noises, some would even rise to their feet and commence into the spirit mode known as "shouting". I half-watched in amused curiosity but was more drawn to my fantasy and never really heard or understood the point the message or the emotions that voice evoked from the congregants.


However, before the preacher reached that mode he would introduce his topic and give scriptural and/or personal examples; he would talk—and I would hear him, I listened and was interested; that was the voice mode that held my focus on the preacher and what he was saying; it is the voice I would now call—the teaching voice. I’ve already confessed what happens when he goes into the other mode; which I call—the preaching voice. Growing up I liked both voices, they afforded me the opportunity to do two things in church—to learn, and to daydream.


As I matured in my walk with the Lord, I realized I gained more from a teaching voice than a preaching voice.


What about you...



*I say “southern Baptist preacher” because I grew up in the south and it is the basis of my experience.

The Light

Where are you when the light shines on you

Are you standing in the shadows so only a portion of you captures the light

Are you standing full blown so all of you displays the light

How are you capturing the light

Where are you

Are you like the lampstand that’s hidden under a bushel

Are you a mighty tower shining on a hill

So in the face of darkness you know how to stand strong and still

                                  

Almost

...the beauty I seek

That Renaissance Man

I’m ready for that Renaissance Man

The one that descends from the spirit of the Almighty

The one that soars on the wings of an eagle

Embracing the storm on a quiet sea

I’m ready for that man that will look beyond the obvious

And see the best in me

That renaissance man that gives his all to Thee

That knows when to laugh—and knows how to cry

He can touch the soul of my heart with the look in his eye

That renaissance man that can reason the answer to the question—why

That man that governs his home serving the Master on high

I’m ready for that renaissance man

The one that descends from the creator of the earth and sky

He prevails in the waters that run very deep

He conquers the mountains when they get a little steep

He knows when to slow down and rest in peaceful sleep

Where is that renaissance man

The one that in marriage will come and take my hand

Love me in obedience according to the Master’s plan

The Master—where he draws his strength to carry me through the sinking sand

I’m ready for my renaissance man

That man—the one who only exists in Jesus

The Message Butterfly

As a butterfly lover and nature photographer I long to capture a butterfly gliding effortlessly in the air with a beautiful background. My cousin has a green thumb that produces a beautiful yard in front and back, so butterflies constantly add to the scene. I’ve been watching them all summer and sometimes chasing them like a small child, not to capture them in my hand as I did when I was a child; but to capture them with my camera. I was successful one day in making a capture, however, without the beautiful background (see my post Answered Prayer). This morning was no different; I’m sitting on the front patio watching them flying around just out of my reach with the backdrop I desire but again so swift it’s hard to capture the full scene.  

 The difference in this morning as I sit on the patio they are flying around amid my praying and texting prayer warriors to pray for a family crisis. I’m teetering on the edge of worry when suddenly, a butterfly flutters right up in front of me, about a foot from my face…he paused for a quick second like he was talking to me. He didn’t linger long... just long enough for me to want to get a photograph but couldn’t because I was in the middle of texting.

 After I prayed and sent the messages, I couldn’t stop thinking about how close I came to getting the shot I’ve been wanting all summer; then I realized he came not to be photographed, he came bearing a message…to keep me calm and not to worry; God’s got this! He was a messenger that did not have to speak words, the beauty in his wings against the blueness of the sky spoke volumes that confirmed God’s control.

 Thank You Lord.

 

The Gate

Answered Prayer

I’ve been watching the Monarchs flying around the yard all summer waiting for one to light on a flower and stay there long enough for me to capture a photo. Their movement is usually so swift it’s hard to capture, and they would never light on a bloom. I eventually stopped following them because my attempts were futile.

Watching them this morning I thought soon they will migrate, and I won’t see them anymore. Without a second thought I spontaneously said, "Lord please let me get a shot before they leave".

God is faithful...He hears, and He answers. I followed one...it was like he knew what I wanted; or, was he being obedient to the voice of God; he slowed down—and even perched on a bloom; on second look it wasn’t a bloom, it was a leaf. How astounding is that! Even more astounding he allowed me to capture him in an area of the yard that is the least beautiful. Nonetheless, I was excited! To my delight this is what I captured:

God answers even the smallest of prayers...

and teach us lessons in the answer.

1. The swiftness of the butterfly
2. My futile chase
3. Acknowledging my desire to God in a spontaneous request
4. The butterfly cooperating, choosing a barren site to land
5. Lighting on a leaf instead of a bloom
6. I stumble trying to get a closer view but don't fall
7. My eventual victory

What Does God Look Like

What does God look like…

He looks like joy when there’s no reason to be joyful
He looks like peace in the midst of a storm
He looks like praise going up from wherever you are
He looks like strength in your moments of weakness
He looks like power when your strength is gone
He looks like courage when fear is overwhelming
He looks like victory in times of adversity
He looks like compassion caring for a broken heart
He looks like kindness intentional and unintentional
He looks like laughter when sadness reigns
He looks like sacrifice when you want to do your own thing
He looks like justice when you do the right thing
He looks like truth when it’s easier to tell a lie
He looks like honesty when you unveil the beauty hidden under the mask
He looks like forgiveness when you’re too hurt to forgive
He looks like the love of a mother cradling her newborn child
He looks like healing on a grief-stricken face
He looks like the smile of a homeless man when given a hand up to a better place
He looks like mercy abounding with grace
He looks like radiance shining in a believer’s face—wrapped in unconditional love

He is not a color

He is not an economic status

He is not a language

He is joy

He is peace

He is praise

He is strength

He is power

He is courage

He is victory

He is compassion

He is kindness

He is laughter

He is sacrifice

He is justice

He is truth

He is honesty

He is forgiveness

He is love

He is healing

He is a smile

He is mercy

He is grace

He is radiance

What does God look like…He looks like love—unconditional

Comfortable Favorites

You ever want to walk up to someone that’s sitting at your favorite table at your favorite Starbucks and say, "excuse me, you’re sitting at my table" all the while smiling politely. That’s how I feel right now, that lady is in my favorite place. 😏

I keep watching for her to leave so I can grab my spot.

With that said we often get stuck in comfortable places. God says branch out, I can bring you comfort in new places.

As I was writing that last sentence I looked up and the lady had been replaced by a couple. When did she leave?! Now I’m forced to stay in this new spot since I didn’t grab my opportunity to get my favorite one back.

Do I like this new spot...not really, it’s not comfortable or familiar; the view is different, the feel is not the same. Is that a bad thing? Probably not. It’s a new experience in the same place with a different perspective. I’m sure there is a lesson in this and could be considered a God moment.

Strange thing...this is the second time this has happened, in separate locations (I have several favorite Starbucks locations with a favorite spot in each one).

The couple finally left and I ceased my opportunity to get my spot, and guess what...it feels good to be home.

Moral: What feels good to you feels good to others too...share the comfort.

What Can We Do

In my previous post I expressed my view on homosexuality. I have since engaged in some research on how the church should respond to this issue. I was struck by a passage I read in a pamphlet entitled “How Should We Respond? - An exhortation to the church on loving the homosexual” By Joe Dallas

"If you have a homosexual loved one, relative, friend or co-worker, you can do them a powerful service by asking them, “What is life like for you? I want to know you. I want to hear about your experience. I want you to know I’m interested in you, not as an object of conversion,  but as someone I care about."

How different could we be if this was our sincere response...I have a whole new perspective on my emotions.

Joe also brought out some very convicting points on how the church has responded and how we should respond. While I’m not faced in my personal space with anyone struggling with this I do see it everyday on the media and wonder how to react if I am faced with it up close and personal. If like me you are wondering how to respond I suggest reading the literature I mentioned above. You can find it among other resources here:  

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/socialissues/understanding-the-issues/thriving-values-resourcess on the Family

We Need Real Men

Will the real men please stand up...

There are not enough real men anymore. Every time I look at tv I spot a man with female tendencies; the sad part—he’s proud of it.... it grieves my heart.

Where have the real men gone...

Why are they are turning to each other...

It is interesting that the gay community use the word "pride" when pride is the fall of man. Our men are falling, we are losing them.

On a segment of Sister Circle Live, Bishop Clyde Allen founder of The Vision Cathedral of Atlanta known as “The Vision Church” was hailed as setting many gay people free and helping them live in their truth. What he refuses to see and acknowledge is "their truth" is a lie.

His quote: "if you don’t live in your truth, you die in your lie". (He got big applause)

I say: "you are confused about the truth, and already dead in your lie...you just don’t know it". (I wonder what kind of applause will I get)

I already know...backlash and ridicule, because the people in that lifestyle (and its supporters) can’t handle the truth. They talk louder and more often to hush the voice of conviction so they can continue to feel comfortable in their lie.

We need real men that are not being persuaded by this lie to refute what the enemy is trying to steal and stand up for what is morally right so we can have more real men.

Unfortunately, more women are starting to live that same lie.

What would happen if every male and female decided they were gay and lived a homosexual lifestyle...
What would happen to procreation in the world...
...the human race would cease to exist...

If gay men and women don’t recognize the real truth they will die in their lie.

Real men…stand up—we need you.

Does Life and Death Coexist

Life and death does coexist

We were born to die

The beauty of life

Becomes the sadness in death

Life lived in the light 

Escapes the shadow of darkness

From beginning to end

We cycle through life

Starting as buds 

Coexisting with those in full bloom

Exuding the fragrance of togetherness

Like divine perfume

The epitome of the coexistence is… 

the beauty in death—is life eternal 

For those that know

They escape the infernal

When I...

When I walk I walk alone

But in my walk I'm not alone

When I search I search to find

But what I find I cannot see

When I dream I dream to have

But what I have I cannot keep

When I think I think of much

In that much I learn to give

The Growth

In an earlier post I shared about my experience in North Georgia with the oil dripping from the bible. I shared a link in the post that tells the story of the oil, so I won’t explain that in this post. On the site https://hisnameisflowingoil.org/story-of-the-oil/  there is a space for sharing testimonies; this is what I shared on the site:

It’s gone! I can’t believe it! But I believe it!! I had an awesome experience visiting the Bible dripping with oil back in April 2019 with two wonderful friends. We had an awesome opportunity to pray with John and his wife Eileen in the prayer room at the Grace 251 bookstore. In November 2018 I had a large growth surgically removed from my eye and was disappointed when I discovered another one was growing on the same eye. Eileen anointed my eye with the oil and prayed the growth would melt away. In the days after I would periodically check my eye to see if it was gone—it was a great test of my faith each time I felt the growth still there. On May 23^rd I was sharing my experiences of the North Georgia Revival and helping bottle the oil with a friend I had sent some of the oil to; as I was sharing about the prayer in the prayer room and being at the altar in the theater the following day I touched my eye where the growth was and it was gone—it melted away!! Praise God! In the midst of sharing my experiences God healed my eye.

My testimony proves what was said in the service that the miracle of the oil happens away from the site where the oil drips. I was prayed for while I was there, but nothing happened there. It’s also not about the oil itself but what we believe about God and what He can do. Jerry, the former owner of the bible, said God told him, “if I can make oil drip from a bible—I can do anything”.

Life and Death

When They See Us

(Dedicated to the Central Park Five)

When they see us

They see our black

In our black…

They see worthless

They see bad

They see no good

They see unintelligible

They see dispensable

They fail to see a happy bright shining star

They fail to see us for who we really are

It’s not what they see

It’s what they are filled with…hatred

When they act on what they feel rather than look deep and really see

The light in the shining star begins to fade

And we cease to be who we really are

Our outlook turns to despair

And where we’re going turns out to be nowhere

When things get tough and hard

And we’re thrust into a world full of anger and void

Just hold on and look up

There is always the grace of God

He dwells with us in our terrible place—sets things in order

And cause His love and mercy to shine on our face

Righteousness is delivered to us on a silver platter

And in His eyes—what they see when they see us

…doesn’t really matter

His Words

I learned through experience that His Word is written on the tablet of my heart...

When I stopped reading and studying in anger and asked Him to wipe away everything I knew about the word and especially man’s interpretation that had infiltrated my mind...He did. But when the anger was gone and forgiven, I found myself in a place where I needed the word...and there it was spilling from my heart, soothing the hurts within...bringing healing and restoration.

His words—gone from my mind, but not my heart.

Thank you Lord for writing Your word on the tablet of my heart, and turning the page on "a dark night of the soul"; bringing me back to an anointed place with You—a place that is redeemed, fresh and new...fresh like Your mercies glistening in the glow of the morning dew.

"My son, keep my words, And treasure my commands within you. Keep my commands and live, And my law as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart."
Proverbs 7:1-3 NKJV

https://www.bible.com/114/pro.7.1-3.nkjv

In times of hurt and desperation we do and say things we regret and they come back to haunt us. But praise God for redemption and His lack of condemnation. Because He gives them so freely we can live a forgiven life with no regrets...just lessons learned.

Keep my words and treasure them within your heart

From your inner being they will never depart

Keep my commands—in obedience, with them you will forever live

Just as you are the apple of my eye make my words the apple of your eye

A ring of gold bound on your finger and written on the tablet of your heart

His words are a treasure...from us they will never depart

No matter how hard we try

We can wipe them from our mind but they linger on in our heart

A treasure that will forever stay and never ever go away

Thank You Father!